Help is on the way - don't panic

setter · **Posted:** Sat May 15, 2004 6:39 am

Scott

I am truely shocked to hear of the capture of my ally in crime the Rt Hon Col Rohr.

I will imediately scramble all available elements of the Sunshine State Air Farce.

Unfortunately the F111 bomber force have used up the years allocation of Fosters Beer and are U/S as opposed to Ex USAF !!! . The aircrews are not in much better shape after sniffing the fosters fumes.

Luckily this weekend Caboulture Air show is being conducted so we have the finest Queensland aircrews ready to leap into action .............

As I speak covert Ops configured Pitts specials are speeding for the West Coast of the US Via several hundred Island airstrips along the way and will be springing into action as soon as several months time !!!!!!

The second wave will be led by the Transport and Bomber elements of the Farce. Although this is not a secure channel I have no option but to reveal the plan to you. An Avenger will be tasked to drop several thousand kilos of Pot ( Smoldering) above the cruel and vicious hippies. Several Dragon Rapides and and a Fox Moth ( Spare no expense with the technology ) will then drop at least a dozen Special ops grandmothers from suspended bedsheet ropes whilst the hippies are busy inhaling and rescue the Rt Hon Col.

A newly commissioned Vickers Hydrabad of the SSAF will then slip into the rebel base and evacuate the captive to the Gold Coast so that he can then be properly de-briefed by our Intellegance CO Elle McPherson and given the counselling of his life. If Col Rohr survives his De brief and subsequent "treatment" he will be repatriated to Maine in our one and only cutting edge Supermarine Walrus and reunited with his loved ones if any can be found.

Your role should you agree to accept it will be to arrange for our secret operative Bill Clinton to infiltrate the rebel base and teach Col Rohr how not to inhale. It would be as well if you kept an eye on Clinton as he has ways of dealing with the enemy which aren't pretty or legal.

God bless our plan and restore the Col to all of us .

As an aside I have it on the highest authority the the Hippies are in the employ of the US Navy - will these Swabies stop at nothing in their efforts to stop our boy!!!

Kindest regards
In Secret
AVM
John Parker

Scott Rose · **Posted:** Sat May 15, 2004 4:05 pm

Your a twisted individual John... you fit right in :lol:

Don Martin · **Posted:** Sat May 15, 2004 4:18 pm

With two fronts, I'm sure this will be a short campaign!

setter · **Posted:** Sun May 16, 2004 6:45 pm

Scott

News from the Southern hemisphere nerve centre

Following the tragic news of the capture Col Rohr we have progressed plans to form a coalition with the Maine commonwealth and prepare for the attack strategy as outlined above in my first post. Thanks to frequent flyer points advance parties have already commenced departure - Hippies beware of fat balding Australians in shorts, six packs and hawaian shirts - they are lethal weapons.

All aspects of aircraft deployments are progressing well with the exception of the Fox Moth as the pull start cord broke but its OK now as we jump started it with my pacemaker.

Some of the guys who were displaying signs of thought processes were formed up into a think tank - some think its a septic tank - and were tasked with coming up with some new weapons of mass annoyance. This has worked particularly well and their efforts should aid considerably in bringing the Hippies to their knees.

One suggestion is a new take on the cluster bomb but of a new type in that it is dropped and imediately explodes deploying thousands of florets of broccoli ( nobody likes Broccoli)

Another weapon is a speaker system deployed under a Dak which plays endless McDomalds and Burger King Advertisments followed up with Rosemary Clooney and Nelson Eddie easy listening favourites (obtained from my CD player) - that should drive them MAD !!!

I should also inform you of our ultimate weapon should nothing suceed and as a last resort - BIG SCONE 1 will be activated- in fact it is on the lunch pad as we speak awaiting the armaggedon order.

Hippies and Navy take note that over the past months secret development has taken place in our research centre at the local pub - the ultimate doomsday weapon. A rocket similar in scale to an Apollo Moon series booster has been constructed utilising several million SPAM cans , two hundred Hyundis and a small fortune in duct tape. Power has been harnessed from 29,000 lawnmowers powered by a special fuel formulated from fermented cold Pizza , warm Beer and pineapple rings. Considerable performance improvements have been achieved over the standard NASA configured original and the agency is wanting to do a deal after hostilities cease to use the system to power the next generation of Space shuttles.

Atop the fierce new super rocket sits Australia's synister glory - a new super weapon so powerful none will speak of it till now. Deep in a bunker under Brisbane, Maine and Australian scientists have developed a rotary dispenser capabale of deploying up to six or even a half dozen new Super Thermo Nuclear Mega Scone bomps capable of destroying the sense of taste of every hippie in continental USA - the bombs also automatically deploy 10 Starbucks outlets in every hippie commune they encounter and release 6.3 megatons of IRS and DEA operatives to hound the hippies into submission. Devious Huh!!!!

My warning is to the hippie hordes holding Col Rohr - If you thought the Special Ops Grannies were bad enough wait till you see BIG SCONE 1.

Give up now and free Col Rohr to the Commonwealth of Maine !!!! or I will unleash it all

AVM John Parker

Don Martin · **Posted:** Mon May 17, 2004 7:51 pm

Those of us in the Maine Snowball Militia apreciate the assistance of our NOBLE ALLIES of the Southern Cross(those who have been able to resist the affects of a Foster's infiltration!) in securing the early release of Col. Rohr. I am pleased to hear, setter, of th progress being made on the latest Scone technology. I know you will be glad to hear the eastern launch sites for your Saturn V MegaLauncher are nearing completion. The Moxie required to complete the rocket propellent is now in transit. Even as we speak, preperations for the Combined Allied Assault are in the final stages. All forces are now forward deployed and awaiting the final signal.
CMS Martin

Don Martin · **Posted:** Mon May 17, 2004 8:36 pm

This is a General Stand Down Order! The Colonel is safely in New England again, so return all Forces(Northern and Southern) To DEFCON 5.
CMS Martin

setter · **Posted:** Tue May 18, 2004 12:12 am

Hi Don

Thank God for that, we didn't have to unleash our combined firepower - just goes to show the value of a credable deterent - nobody likes Broccoli - I have stood all personnel down and Elle McPherson is being consoled by Bill Clinton so all is well.

I will be leaving the Saturn Mega Boosters armed with Big Scone 1 on standby just in case at Defcon 5 as requested and all elements of the Farce have agreed to stay at the Pub for a few days just in Case.

Please give the Col my regards.

Yours in the Brotherhood
AVM John Parker

Don Martin · **Posted:** Tue May 18, 2004 7:14 pm

John,
Just another Thanks and a round of Fosters for our Gallent Allies and Brothers at Scones! This has been a long campaign and we hope to never have to unleash Big Scone 1. But, if the time should come, we will endevour to perserver! And if Bill Clinton is unable to console Elle McPherson, how ever difficult and distastefull the task may be, I volunteer to take his place. It's the least I can do!
CSM Don Martin

Just a note. We have been invaded by the Britts today! Two Harriers, two Tornados, a C-130J and a Tri-Star.

Guest · **Posted:** Wed May 19, 2004 4:52 am

Hi Don

I have just left the Last elements of the Sunshine State Air Farce in the local Pub. Several of them appeared a little tired and emotional after being there on active standby for nearly a week - poor souls . Those of them who were still able to comprehend what I was saying were cheered by the Hon Col's release and your messages of support and I am sure at some stage will eventually, perhaps go home happy men and women.

Elle Mcpherson now has your Email and says she will be in touch soon - don't send a photo - surprise her !!

Big Scone one is still on the pad and will stay there till we are all assured of sucess and ultimate victory. The Moxie fuel additive was a masterstroke.

Watch those pommies I am sure they are only visiting you because the fuel price in the UK is up and someone told them you lot would pay, don't sign any dodgy invoices !!!!!

Kindest regards
John Beauregard Parker AVM SSAF

Don Martin · **Posted:** Thu May 20, 2004 5:42 pm

Sir John,
So glad to hear the boys are recouperating from this terrible time. I'll do my absolute best to console Elle in these dark hours. And yes, we did give the Pommies a deal on jet fuel, but they failed to read the fine print and now we have one of their Harriers sitting on the ramp!
Your Humble Servant,
CMSgt Don Martin

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