How can someone just steal my kids and get away with it?
Wed Mar 12, 2008 9:35 am
How can someone just steal my kids and get away with it?
This has been a sad week for me.
I know my wife and I have discusses getting divorced and I was fine with that and I assumed that we would take it slow for the childrens sake.
Monday morning, I went to work as normal, no worried about anything. I tried to call her several times during the day, which she is a stay at home mother and works night shift cutting hair.
I thought it was odd she never returned my calls.
Well, I get home at 4 pm Monday after work and find my house is half empty and my kids and wife are gone!
She leaves a note saying she is tired of living with me and she is taking the kids away from me. She says to call her cell phone and if I dont yell at her, we can talk about this.
Well, I tried and tried and tried, but noone has called me to let me know where my children are at. She will not return my calls, her parents will not pick up the phone and the Sherriff basically told me there is nothing they can do for me.
What kind of sugar is that that someone can just take my kids out of the house, never telling me where they are, or even have them call me to let me know that they are ok?
This is a sad society that allows women to use children as a weapon. It has been 3 days since I last hugged and kissed my children and it is killing me inside.
What kind of heartless person can just get away with this?
So I called an attorney and they have to file paperwork with my county and of course, that takes 24-48 hours and then another week to get a court date to get something saying that I can see my kids.
She left on the note, go file for divorce asap, so you can get your kids back asap for visitation.
I am just hurt to the bone and am at a lose for words.
This has been a sad week for me.
I know my wife and I have discusses getting divorced and I was fine with that and I assumed that we would take it slow for the childrens sake.
Monday morning, I went to work as normal, no worried about anything. I tried to call her several times during the day, which she is a stay at home mother and works night shift cutting hair.
I thought it was odd she never returned my calls.
Well, I get home at 4 pm Monday after work and find my house is half empty and my kids and wife are gone!
She leaves a note saying she is tired of living with me and she is taking the kids away from me. She says to call her cell phone and if I dont yell at her, we can talk about this.
Well, I tried and tried and tried, but noone has called me to let me know where my children are at. She will not return my calls, her parents will not pick up the phone and the Sherriff basically told me there is nothing they can do for me.
What kind of sugar is that that someone can just take my kids out of the house, never telling me where they are, or even have them call me to let me know that they are ok?
This is a sad society that allows women to use children as a weapon. It has been 3 days since I last hugged and kissed my children and it is killing me inside.
What kind of heartless person can just get away with this?
So I called an attorney and they have to file paperwork with my county and of course, that takes 24-48 hours and then another week to get a court date to get something saying that I can see my kids.
She left on the note, go file for divorce asap, so you can get your kids back asap for visitation.
I am just hurt to the bone and am at a lose for words.
Wed Mar 12, 2008 11:07 am
I feel for you Paul. Don't do anything rash. Talk to a close friend and vent your frustrations at him. Get a good lawyer. Talk to us. Go stay with someone.
Wed Mar 12, 2008 11:14 am
Thank you! I just vented on here, because that is the only way to do it right now. I have a close relationship with everyone here and this is just down right wrong!
I hired an attorney and he is getting the courts to find her and provide me with temporary custody until the divorce hearing.
I pray that it all works out. I know many people say this, but I am really the mother in this family. I take care of the kids, wash them, educate them, watch them cook for them, I do everything for them and with them, as my wife was never really the one to do all that.
It sucks, I just have to keep my head up.!
I hired an attorney and he is getting the courts to find her and provide me with temporary custody until the divorce hearing.
I pray that it all works out. I know many people say this, but I am really the mother in this family. I take care of the kids, wash them, educate them, watch them cook for them, I do everything for them and with them, as my wife was never really the one to do all that.
It sucks, I just have to keep my head up.!
Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:31 pm
darn, Paul. This is terrible news. I know exactly what you're feeling- the loss, the sense of betrayal, and the isolation. I went through it back in November, and I'm still grieving. The sneakiness of it is for me the worst because I was actually asleep when she snuck off. I had no chance to try to change her mind, or work out our circumstances, or even to ask why. She just disappeared for a week. In the end I've decided to cut her entirely out of my life, not even to deal wit hthe divorce (I'll pay financially but it's just easier this way, for me).
Just have some faith, and do the footwork to get your children back. At this point you have GOT to pay attention to the details that will make sure the right thing happens later. Get a lawyer, and be aggressive legally. Don't play nice just because you want the best thing for your kids. The best thing for your kids will be to have both thier parents fully involved in their life. For me the first week's depression was the worst, and I gave her family a lot of the things I should have kept in order to gain rights I both needed and deserved. Don't make the mistake just to be nice or because you feel guilty.
Follow the bouncy ball, dude. Don't let your grief and anger drive you to mistakes you and your children will regret later. And believe it, it will all be all right, if not the same as before!
Good luck
Just have some faith, and do the footwork to get your children back. At this point you have GOT to pay attention to the details that will make sure the right thing happens later. Get a lawyer, and be aggressive legally. Don't play nice just because you want the best thing for your kids. The best thing for your kids will be to have both thier parents fully involved in their life. For me the first week's depression was the worst, and I gave her family a lot of the things I should have kept in order to gain rights I both needed and deserved. Don't make the mistake just to be nice or because you feel guilty.
Follow the bouncy ball, dude. Don't let your grief and anger drive you to mistakes you and your children will regret later. And believe it, it will all be all right, if not the same as before!
Good luck
Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:54 pm
Hang in there Paul! I went through the same thing several years ago. Things will work out...Really put your faith in your family and friends to help you get through these rough times!!
Wed Mar 12, 2008 4:15 pm
I don't know if it's legal but get a small tape recorder to secretly tape every conversation with her if your lawyer isn't present. Phone calls, everything. Keep venting on us all you want if it helps. Stay with us.
Thu Mar 13, 2008 1:20 pm
Ellen and I send our best to you, Paul. We're praying for you and your kids.
Scott
Scott
Thu Mar 13, 2008 2:00 pm
That sucks man. Hang in there. Divorce is soooo hard. I can't even imagine going through it with kids. I hope I never have to go through it again.
Thu Mar 13, 2008 3:27 pm
That is just heartbreaking to read. Fight hard for your kids, they always deserve it.
Thu Mar 13, 2008 3:41 pm
I had this same thing happen to a friend I worked with a few years back. I had no idea what to say to him. I guess the most I could offer and the best thing I had to give him was an ear if he ever needed it. We are here for you.
Just be careful what you say, this is a public forum and could be used against you if things get ugly. I'd hate to have your support network be used against you.
Tim
Just be careful what you say, this is a public forum and could be used against you if things get ugly. I'd hate to have your support network be used against you.
Tim
Thu Mar 13, 2008 8:26 pm
sorry to hear your a member of the fraternity. it's been 13 years since my divorce, & mine wasn't only painful but dysfunctional. my wife left me for my sister inlaw's brother!! right out of jerry springer isn't it?? while painful, it's still most awkward & embarrassing for me to this day, it affected my 3 kids, my brother etc, but i healed, & so will you with patient thinking. go easy on the booze if you drink, as you need to keep a clear head. as for your your kids you & your wife owe it to them to keep the peace, be civil & keep it so they don't get damaged baggage. i would strongly suggest you secure any assets which are rightfully yours asap, as if you want to hear about my clock being cleaned then p.m. me & i'll give you the details. no offense to the women wixers, but divorce rulings in this country are very biased against men, so get a good attorney who knows his stuff. you can p.m. anyway & anytime, i'm glad to lend a shoulder to you buddy. trust me........ it will get better. take care, tom
Fri Mar 14, 2008 2:45 pm
Better News!
Well, I at least finally had the opportunity the last two nights to speak with my children!!!! YEAH!!!! I was so overjoyed, it was hard to hang the phone up.
I did get a lawyer, and he is in the process of taking care of the legal issues.
She still refuses to let me see my children, lets just pray that it bites her for that!
I thank you all for your support. I was left with absolutley nothing in my house except my computer and my clothes. Everything else was taken. I am not sure how I will get everything back such as pictures, cameras, T.V., beds, etc. etc., but day by day, I am sure it will replace themselves here and there.
I feel much better talking to my children, I am deeply and madly in love with them and I want nothing but the best for them, that is why I am completly devastated over this, no warning, nothing.
Anyways, I am glad to have friend here to vent to and have some sort of sanity on the web. I just need to not let this drag me through the mud and be the better person and stand up for myself and my children.
I may even start a legal fund for myself to help get my children back. My father has already donated some money to me and some friends as well and I want to thank them too!
It maybe a long battle, but it is best for my children.
Thanks again!
Well, I at least finally had the opportunity the last two nights to speak with my children!!!! YEAH!!!! I was so overjoyed, it was hard to hang the phone up.
I did get a lawyer, and he is in the process of taking care of the legal issues.
She still refuses to let me see my children, lets just pray that it bites her for that!
I thank you all for your support. I was left with absolutley nothing in my house except my computer and my clothes. Everything else was taken. I am not sure how I will get everything back such as pictures, cameras, T.V., beds, etc. etc., but day by day, I am sure it will replace themselves here and there.
I feel much better talking to my children, I am deeply and madly in love with them and I want nothing but the best for them, that is why I am completly devastated over this, no warning, nothing.
Anyways, I am glad to have friend here to vent to and have some sort of sanity on the web. I just need to not let this drag me through the mud and be the better person and stand up for myself and my children.
I may even start a legal fund for myself to help get my children back. My father has already donated some money to me and some friends as well and I want to thank them too!
It maybe a long battle, but it is best for my children.
Thanks again!
Fri Mar 14, 2008 4:55 pm
Glad to hear of the good news. Keep us posted if you feel comfortable about it. We can help in small ways.
Fri Mar 14, 2008 9:55 pm
remember paul.......... the resilience of kids entangled in divorce are guaranteed if the parents are civil. ask my kids, they came out like troopers. i hope you convey this advice to your wife for the kid's sake. i'm here brother.... glad to help.
Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:07 am
What a fantastic group of people we have here on WIX!
I am so sorry to hear about the issues you are facing Paul, but like so many others have stated, you are not alone in your pain. It is good to know that there are others who have faced the sort of thing you are facing and can offer some little bits of advice or the comfort in knowing that you have friends who are willing to listen.
I recently relocated out of the state that I had lived in for more than 25 years. I have custody of my teenage son, born out of wedlock. Up until very recently, his mother and I were cordial to the point of being friends. She agreed to care for our son until I got to a point where I could move him back in with me. She was going to bring him to where I now live over his Spring Break from school. I had been calling her house for the past three weeks to set-up the details of her bringing my son here and what we would do while they were here. No answer and no returned phone calls began to worry me greatly.
Friday evening I tried to call her house again and my son answered. He told me that his mother had warned him that if my number came up on the caller ID and he answered it, she would break his arm. He also told me that when he told her that he wanted to come and live with me, "she jumped up and down, swore at him profusely, did a backflip and blew smoke out her a$$".
The darndest thing about all of this is that I don't even know why she is angry! Neither does my son. It is hard to fathom that she is unable to understand that no matter what, my son will soon be out and on his own. Her actions now will effect him for the rest of his life. He told me that he does not care if she lives to be 500, he will never go to see her once he is out and on his own.
Sorry I got off on that tangent Paul. Just wanted to let ya know that there are quite a few of us out here in the world facing the same things as you are. There is no immediate relief from the pain and depression and anxiety other than to know that you have anonymous friends here on WIX who feel for ya buddy!
"I will be changed by what happens to me. I refuse to be reduced by it"-Maya Angelou
I am so sorry to hear about the issues you are facing Paul, but like so many others have stated, you are not alone in your pain. It is good to know that there are others who have faced the sort of thing you are facing and can offer some little bits of advice or the comfort in knowing that you have friends who are willing to listen.
I recently relocated out of the state that I had lived in for more than 25 years. I have custody of my teenage son, born out of wedlock. Up until very recently, his mother and I were cordial to the point of being friends. She agreed to care for our son until I got to a point where I could move him back in with me. She was going to bring him to where I now live over his Spring Break from school. I had been calling her house for the past three weeks to set-up the details of her bringing my son here and what we would do while they were here. No answer and no returned phone calls began to worry me greatly.
Friday evening I tried to call her house again and my son answered. He told me that his mother had warned him that if my number came up on the caller ID and he answered it, she would break his arm. He also told me that when he told her that he wanted to come and live with me, "she jumped up and down, swore at him profusely, did a backflip and blew smoke out her a$$".
The darndest thing about all of this is that I don't even know why she is angry! Neither does my son. It is hard to fathom that she is unable to understand that no matter what, my son will soon be out and on his own. Her actions now will effect him for the rest of his life. He told me that he does not care if she lives to be 500, he will never go to see her once he is out and on his own.
Sorry I got off on that tangent Paul. Just wanted to let ya know that there are quite a few of us out here in the world facing the same things as you are. There is no immediate relief from the pain and depression and anxiety other than to know that you have anonymous friends here on WIX who feel for ya buddy!
"I will be changed by what happens to me. I refuse to be reduced by it"-Maya Angelou