Friend's Passing

[Greg87]

I recently had a friend pass away, and there are several things making it rather difficult to deal with. I try to put it in the back of my mind, but any time I find myself just thinking, I end up finding myself thinking about nothing but my friend. Some background information first.

I know this gentleman from the Canadian Warplane Heritage Museum, where he has flown for many, many years. I started at the Museum in 1998, and in the summer of 1999, when I was 11, he took me up for my first flight in a Museum aircraft, the DeHavilland Chipmunk. He is quite possibly the most respected pilot at the museum, and his skill at flying is unparalleled. He flew the CWH Corsair back in the day for about 20 years without any accidents. During my flight training and probably for the rest of my life I will be trying to become as safe and as skilled of a pilot as Pete was. Unfortunately, right now I'm in North Bay, approximately 400 km or I think 200 nm from home. I'm not going to be able to make it to the funeral as I can't afford to miss school. I feel so cut off from him and the people that know him.

I'm sorry to take everyone's time, but I just needed to get this off my chest. I know this is not unique, but it's very difficult for me to deal with. Does anyone have any suggestions about how to deal with something like this? I wish I had told him how much of a difference he had made in my life. If I had not gotten that flight, maybe when that summer was over I would have been around the museum less, maybe I never would have gotten my pilots license, maybe I wouldn't be where I am now, an aircraft maintenance student. I know it's a lot of maybe's. We weren't extremely close, however after his death on Monday I foudn out that he knew more about me than I thought, and I wish I had become closer with him.

Again, sorry for the long post, thanks anyone who actually read it, I needed to get it off my chest. Goodnight.

[Second Air Force]

Greg,

First, sorry to hear of your friend's passing. This sound trite, but things will improve with time. When my dad died I never had really thought about all he had taught me during my youth. Without his subtle encouragement, I never would have become an A&P and moved away from the farm. The same thing goes for my uncle that worked at Boeing, I never appreciated his input until years after he was gone.

So, anytime you're aviating or working on some greasy old part of an aircraft, think of the good fortune that made him your friend. It sounds like he followed your progress, so make him proud and always do your best. Even when I'm hating work at my "real job" it helps a little to think fondly of those who took an interest in what I chose to do.

You'll get through this,
Scott

[Greg87]

Thank you. I'm going to make it my goal in life to become the best pilot I can be, to have a record similar to his, 53 accident free years of flying. I eventually intend to fly with the museum, and assuming that works out, I'll think about him every time I set foot in a museum aircraft.

I've never been one to tell people how I feel about them, I think now might be a good time to go around to the many people who have helped me and taken me in this direction, and tell them how they made a difference in my life.

I keep trying to stay busy with school work, or being out, but I end up back in my room, and then its all I can think of. At least he is relaxed now, after a year and a half struggle with cancer (he was initially given less than 6 weeks).

[JDK]

Greg, that's tough. I posted the following in response to a comment by Curtis Block in the Paul Allen a/c thread. I hope it's of some help to you as well.

I don't know if this will help you, but it's rare that a day goes by when I don't gather inspiration or direction from someone who is now gone. Sometimes it is 'what would he have done here?', or 'thought about this?' Sometimes they help us while they are around, often they can continue to do so after they are no longer with us. I've lost too many friends, colleagues and contacts in the aviation business, sometimes I can say a public thank you for their contributions in an appropriate form, as you have done here, but other times their legacy lives on, if we let it.

I hope your friend's legacy does for you. It sounds like it will.

Regards,

[Tulio]

Sorry for your loss.

Life events many times, take precedence over the things that we would like to do.

Coldly thinking, your presence at the funeral will not change anything. BUT, you are carrying his legacy in your heart, in your mind, in remembering him.

What you could do, since you stated that you wished you could have told him how much his mentorship meant to you, would be in my opinion, to pass on to someone else, a little of that knowledge that you gained from him.

The same as he mentored you, and made such an impact in your life, so could you impact someone else's life, and instill in that person, the love for aviation that you now carry with you.

As far as you are in distance, the speed of thought puts you right at the site where your friend will be receiving the last tributes from friends and relatives.

May he rest in peace.

Respectfully,


Tulio

[Greg87]

Thanks again everyone. I'll be seeing some friends over the weekend who knew him, and we'll share some memories and stories. Thank you for your help.

Greg