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GREEN BAY, WI — While filling out paperwork that should have officially concluded his career with the Green Bay Packers, Brett Favre inadvertently signed his name in the wrong place on certain documents and, as a result, ended up signing a 6-year contract with the Miami Dolphins.
The move comes as a major surprise to both the Dolphins and the Packers, as well as Mr. Favre himself, especially considering he believed he had retired from the sport several weeks earlier.
“As of today, Brett Favre is legally a Miami Dolphin. We checked,” said Bus Cook, Favre’s agent. “My client had an appointment with the Green Bay Packers’ HR department to finalize some minor paperwork. As it turns out, when we left that meeting Brett was a member of the Dolphins. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but it’s official.”
Apparently Favre only intended to finalize some details related to his pension and 401(k) – minor business matters that would officially complete his employment with the Packers. He simply had to sign conservatively in the appropriate boxes, make some precise initials, keep the pages moving, and perhaps check down to his attorney if any complications arose with regards to the fine print.
However, it appears that Favre adopted a much more aggressive tactic with the documents, whirling through them at a breakneck pace, skipping pages and sometimes even scrambling backwards through them, searching for more open boxes to sign. Sources with the Packers say papers were flying about the room as Favre recklessly wielded his pen, and that he may have even signed some documents left-handed, perhaps while falling from his chair.
What should have been a routine legal session ended up disastrously for Favre, who’s new, lengthy contract with the 1-15 Miami Dolphins will pay the Hall-of-Famer the league minimum.
Favre’s attorney quickly appealed the paperwork to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, but the notoriously hard-nosed head honcho determined that the involved signatures are legal, and confirmed the contract’s validity.
New Dolphins head coach Tony Sparano was ecstatic to hear of his team’s unintended acquisition – “What? Shut the do you kiss your mother with that mouth? up! Am I getting Punk’d? Really? Holy do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!”
Sources also report that when Favre realized he had signed with the worst team in the league instead of retiring, he responded by grasping the sides of his helmet, mouth agape, before angrily snapping off his chinstrap and storming out of the office. It is unclear why Favre was wearing a helmet to sign legal paperwork, though it may have contributed to his unintended contract signing.
You guys are too easy!!
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Don't touch my junk!!
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